What the Real World Is Really Like

“Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.”

-Martin Luther King Jr.



College was so EASY. So easy in the sense that finding a group of friends that complemented your personality and beliefs was unbelievably simple compared to the wide pool of human beings that dwell beyond the protective barrier of campus life. The "real world" is not quite as scary in many of the ways people had used to describe it when I was still in school. I'm not homeless, I'm not poor, I don't work in an office drenched in cubicles, finding partners is not as easy, yet not as hopeless as I would have guessed, and I am still constantly learning - though the material is surely different. But if I had to pinpoint what the "real world" is made of - it's people. Who would have thought? Certainly I didn't.

College gave me the false impression that finding like-minded beings would be a constant discovery, but what I've found is that finding people like the "soulmates" you met in college is extremely rare, and most of the time you will encounter people that are completely different than you. Completely - from the insecurities they have and their various ways of dealing with them to the shoes they deem appropriate for formal business wear. At first it was really marring. I'd wonder if I'd ever rediscover what it means to "click" with someone upon first meeting. I recently read a statistic that in our juvenile years, we have up to 17 friends. By the time we reach 40, that number drops to 2. Maybe that sucks, or maybe that's just the way the cycle of life works. And finally, finally I am realizing that after we've had and grown from those 17 friendships, it is our duty to find the good in all those other people we encounter - we may not add them to our prestigious "2," but maybe the point of life is to grow more than it is to be content.

I've recently gotten to know someone who has tested and pounded my conscience in all directions. Our approach to life is completely different, which truly frustrates me in ways I have tried to reason through in my head, but cannot find words to explain them with. I've also connected to this person at times, and at others, seen pieces of myself in that person. It's kind of confusing to both grit your teeth at the thought of someone and yet want to hold them because they reflect the cream of human insecurity - like throwing sand at someone and realizing you're just getting it in your own eyes.

I guess the point of me writing this is to exhale the bitter feelings I've been keeping lately. That seeing the negative in people is not a bad thing if we put all of our energy into unveiling the positive. And not just unveiling it, but putting a candle inside of it and letting it burn brighter than before our two beings intertwined. This is a reminder to me that people are not made better by treating them worse.

When I was a little girl, my favorite stuffed animals were the ones with holes and whose stuffing was starting to creep out because I knew no one else would want them - I wanted to be their friend. As adults, sometimes we talk about missing our childhood, but what I think I miss the most is that little girl. This post is a reminder to me that our childhood never ends, it just reshapes itself - sometimes you'll find plush giraffes with injured, unstitched legs, and other times, you'll find human beings who need some sewing up themselves. And perhaps it is our duty, or at least the one I am coming to terms with myself, to keep searching for those unstitched people - and choosing them rather than tossing them aside - because everyone needs someone who is willing to choose them, even if their stuffing is falling out.