Communication

I think something that I too often overlook, but deeply appreciate about Japan, is the fact that I am not a native speaker. In three months, I have definitely learned enough Japanese to get by, to have some meaningful or comical conversations, and to feel connected to the community here. But unless I'm really trying to understand what people are saying, especially people just passing by me on their way to class or couples standing near me in the grocery store deciding between salad dressings, I just zone out and everything sounds like a murmur. Background noise. I like it. I think I underestimated how much I love being by myself, and being in Japan has reminded me of it. Sometimes when I miss America, or actually, almost all the time, it's purely because of the friends and family I miss. But there are definitely things I don't miss, which I often forget to consider. One in particular, is going somewhere and having this small sense of nervousness that I was going to see someone I kind of know and would feel obligated to have a boring conversation with them. I think I felt this nervousness so often that it almost didn't feel like nervousness anymore. It kind of just felt like normal, like breathing. But I hate that.

One of kids that lives next door to me is yelling something outside to his dad while they play catch. To me, it sounds like gibberish. In America, it might sound like, "don't throw it so hard!" or "what time is dinner!" I never realized how much I hate that stuff until coming here and never hearing it. Maybe I don't hate it. All I know is that I really, really like the limits of speaking and listening that I have here sometimes. Makes me feel like I'm sort of in my own world.